Why Experiencing Triggers Doesn’t Mean You’re Backsliding in Trauma Recovery
I’ve been there. You are going to therapy, doing the work outside of sessions, setting boundaries, emotionally regulating, and finally seeing progress when BAM! You find yourself reacting to a situation with the behavior you are trying to change and immediately feel like you are back at square one another.
It’s easy to feel defeated and like all the hard work you have put into healing yourself was wasted, but what if I helped you take a step back and showed you that this is a normal part of the healing and recovery process?
Just because you respond to a trigger doesn’t mean you are regressing.
This reaction means only that you have hit a stop sign and need to pause to evaluate that particular moment.
Questions to ask yourself at the pause:
Are you hungry?
Are you lonely?
Are you angry?
Are you tired?
WHY DOES THIS MATTER?
Because it can help you better understand where your reaction to a trigger is coming from. Have you fed yourself recently or drank some water? Have you had a few minutes of genuine connection today? Have you given yourself space to process your feelings? Did you sleep well last night?
If the answer is no to any of the above questions, it makes perfect sense that we may have been reactive. This also gives us the next clue about what action we need to take to care for ourselves instead of feeling stuck and unable to find a way out.
As a mental health therapist who specializes in working with millennial women with high-functioning anxiety, I can promise you a reaction does not mean you are back at square one. You are not starting over. You are gathering more data on supporting and responding to yourself self-compassionately so you can continue to move forward and see this moment as a PAUSE, not a REGRESSION.
Healing comes in waves. It often resembles a heartbeat hooked up to a monitor rather than a nice, clean, diagonal line.
If this resonates with you and you would like some support “doing the work,” let’s connect here or follow me at @kylielambertcounseling for more relatable mental health content.
